What kick-ass skill you would want your BFF to have if you were caught in a zombie apocalypse together? And how would you test that skill?
Here’s the winning answer from Rob Dunderdale, Head of Talent Attraction and People Analytics @ KPMG:
The Skill: Cocktail and Breadmaking
The Test: Testing would be extensive. One should not underestimate the stress of a zombie apocalypse and the need for absolute skill precision. The Aperols MUST be strong enough to draw the attention of the zombie away from my human flesh with two green olives perfectly balanced to draw the eye. A slice of orange delicately balanced within a splattering of fresh ice to reflect the sunlight and confuse the zombie. The fizz of champagne must pop at the right time, just on zombie approach to sting the eyes and further disarm the zombie. Paper straws will be used for environmental reasons but given their lack lustre performance in liquid must be dropped in to the glass at the very last second. These would provide no protection, but a cocktail is nothing unless it looks spectacular. Finally, the bread. I don’t feel this would provide much protection but with all the stress of an apocalypse I’d probably be hungry.
We received so many great responses for this competition that it would be a shame not to share them. Here are some responses that deserve an honourable mention.
Reap what you sow
The Skill: I would want them to have a green thumb. Sure, everyone wants a slightly maniacal zombie slayer, but how do you develop the technique and endurance for zombie slaying I hear you ask? Digging trenches to plant carrots and cabbages is how! Let me ask you a question, have you ever seen a weak farmer? No.. it’s because they’re up before dawn turning the earth upside-down in preparation for which ever seasonal fruit or vegetable is coming into season. It’s this strength developed overtime digging and toiling in the fields that is a great asset against any marauding zombies. The bi product of my BFF’s skill is all the hearty meals we’ll have given the by product of their “zombie fighting preparation” is lovely seasonal fruit and vegetables.
The Test: Their ability to grow; Summer: Tomatoes, Spinach, Onion, Broccoli, Asparagus, Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Leeks, Eggplant & Pumpkin Autumn: Beetroot, Carrot, Brussel sprouts, Broad beans, Peas & Beans Winter: Garlic, Cauliflower, Leafy Greens Spring, Pak Choi, Lettuce, Celery, Silver Beet, Capsicum & Zucchini’s Also, by how chiselled their physique would be from cultivating the above.
STEM + Arts
The Skill: Being a hardcore dystopian fan I have thought about this a few times. I think the key to survival is the perfect combination of stem and arts. My bff will be the stem queen. The engineer the person who can build generators , design and construct and security systems to keep us safe, create communication systems to connect with other tribes for all the zombie goss.
The Test: 1) creative thinking- how would you create a electricity generator with minimal resources. 2) logical reasoning – list the items we need so the foragers can go find those items. 3) communication- how would you rally the troupes the risk their lives to get above items 4) project management – share a highly level plan and milestones to execute this project.
Communication is key
The Skill: It is well known that Zombies are just candidates that have not received a response from a job application. So the skill would be communication and the second empathy.
The Test: Have them explain to a Zombie in a clear and concise manner, whilst they understand that we all have urges and desires, that they should not eat living people. If they get eaten they have failed the test.
The decoy BFF…
The Skill: I don’t want them to be skilled, I want them to be slow, dumb and have marbled fat through their brains like a wagyu cow. I’d kick them to the ground and let the zombies feast on them while I run to safety.
The Test: I’d make sure they worked in recruitment LOL no just joking… or am I?
Surviving with a tipple
The Skill: If my bestie and I were caught in the zombie apocalypse I would need her to be able to turn water into wine. How else are we going to be able to get through our final days!! Only by drinking savvy b in our safe-room!
The Test: Firstly having an in-depth discussion the grape varietal, and then drinking 1 glass.. no 2, maybe 3 glasses of that wine.
Bring the when and the where
The Skill: I’d take care of the offensive and defensive skills like weapons, fighting and protection. You need a zombie taken out or a puppy rescued from an evil lair? Yeah, I’m ya gal. My bestie would need to bring the strategy and survival skills, like finding food and supplies, convincing others to join our party (strength in numbers, you gotta have at least 3 UNO players), and map us a way to GET OUTTA THERE! So I’ll go in punching – you just tell me when and where.
The Test: Picture this – it’s a super hot Aussie summer day, and (legend) I’ve just gone for a Maccas run for frozen drinks! Hold up, I’m not giving them up that easily. Where am I, you ask? I’m hiding in the middle of a hedge maze – can you navigate the obstacles (pollen, wasps, trip hazards), use your skills of navigation and make it to me in time before the drinks melt? I’ll share my drinks and buddy up with only the most skilled for the zombie apocalypse. Game on.
Get that blood pumping
The Skill: Cardio. I’ll need someone to literally carry the team when all the running makes me a little sleepy.
The Test: Go for a coffee run, and take the stairs. If they come back and aren’t wheezing like a sad accordion: they’re doing better than me.
The ultimate zombie impersonator
The Skill: She’s going to need two skills; zombie impersonator and trainer so she can teach me to do the same. Using these impersonation skills, we could blend in with the zombies, distract them when they’re zombering after our other friends, trade with them if required, and lastly, with this being the best advantage of being zombie impersonator, we could scare the heck out of our friends by chasing them….I think we’d both enjoy that a little too much
The Test: Toss her out amongst them and see if she comes back.
Zombies are candidates on auto pilot because they haven’t been challenged to show their skills in the interview process. Interested in finding out more about skills-based hiring? Com a long to ATC2023 and connect with the Vervoe team.
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